THE WEDDING

It's been more than a month I think since the ending of the TV series in the Kapamilya Network " the wedding." It was such a great story and worth remembering though I've just seen it for a short period of time. Actually, it was the title of that TV series that caught my attention and I felt a little curious about it, funny though.

Last April 2009, I was attending a wedding ceremony of my two so called friends. Actually, I just met them a couple of weeks before their wedding. It was Pat's (not her real name) wedding that I've first attended. It was such a lovely garden wedding. It was kind of unsophisticated and elegant. We arrived there 30 minutes before the scheduled time. So, I still had the chance to take a look at the whole place and the whole thing; the reception area, the hotel where they're staying, their cute pictorials, their gowns and suits and most of all I had the chance to see how beautiful the bride was. For me, she was perfect. I liked her long curly hair and above all her long classy beautiful gown. And the bride's maids and groom's men, they were all awesome. They're like princesses and prince charming in the fairytale, so awesome and fantastic. And the groom, though he looked a little tense but he looked so great especially when he sang their song with his beautiful bride.

Though we've waited there for a couple of hours I think because the Judge came in late but still I had so much fun just hanging around and looking at the bride and his groom. I could see the real happiness, finally they're getting married.

The next wedding ceremony I've attended was Helen's (not her real name). I think it was two days after Pat's wedding. Actually, Helen's wedding was totally different from Pat except that they've got the same reception area. Helen's wedding was held in the church. It was really solemn, simple yet very romantic. I loved the whole thing. It wasn't just because it was a church wedding but it was the fact that they made their promises in front of God.

Moreover, the bride was perfect too. I liked her long beautiful wedding gown. So perfect for her. And the groom, he was kinda emotional and I could see the intense love and affection for his beloved wife Helen. And I felt so glad seeing them very happy that at last they've settled down.

But honestly, right in the corner of my eye was a crystal moist that I was trying to hold back. Maybe because I envy them for having a beautiful and unforgettable wedding ceremony. Because ever since I was young, I always fancied the thought of getting married someday. Seeing yourself walking in the aisle with your groom waiting and smiling at you in the altar, people looking at you with so much joy and happiness. Wow, so overwhelming!

Actually, ever since I was young I haven't experienced being one of the flower girls or a bride's maid in my entire life, though I've attended many weddings of friends and relatives with my mom. Supposedly last June 2008, I was going to be the made of honor of my very best friend, Neil. But unfortunately, I was 6 months pregnant without her knowledge. I had so many alibis that I wouldn't be able to attend her wedding ceremony though I was pretty excited and wanted to be a part of it. For the first time in my life I'm going to become a made of honor. But unluckily, I got swallowed a whole water melon fruit, so darn it!

Yesterday, while I was walking alone along the high way, looking for a salon where I could get myself fixed for the nursing night (because I was one of the hosts), I decided to drop by in the cathedral (that's what I usually do whenever I go to the city). I was surprised because the wedding ceremony had just started. So, I stayed there for a while and witnessed these couples as they exchanged their marriage vows. I felt a little sad right in the middle of the homily. It was when the priest said, " March, you are so lucky you found a woman like Shine to be your better half for the rest of your life. Shine, you are so fortunate you found a man like March who will love you with all his heart." Wow! I was so touched. I was like figuring out myself in the altar with the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life. I thought what he said was true. He just let me hoped for nothing. So sad, so much pain had turned my heart into a diamond stone that only a diamond stone can break it up into pieces. I broke myself a lot of times and it was making me crazy. Maybe I am just too scared to start all over again or maybe I am so tired pretending and hoping it will be ok. Well, this is what we call life. As they've said, I am still young and I still have a lot of things to do in my life. Sometimes I should have to forget what I feel and remember what I deserve. Maybe someday I could find the right one for me who will truly love me and spend the rest of his life with me and melt the pain away. That is if I will free myself and give it a try one more time.